i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
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It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
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so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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