I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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