you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
