She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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