sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
