Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize