you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
