Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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