i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
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