My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
