Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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