She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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