Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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