I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
