Fuck appropriateness.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
