u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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