my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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