it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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