And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
