She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
