is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Send help, water and tortillas.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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