GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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