Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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