Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
