you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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