Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
