what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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