I'm really into asian looking animals
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
