omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
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the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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