i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize