My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
