haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize