She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
