We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
