If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
