Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
