She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
