not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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