Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
