brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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