My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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