I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
