The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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