We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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