I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Your penis caused this!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
