Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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