I can text with my tongue
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize