So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
