Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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