Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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