i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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