ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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