it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
