i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
