You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
