well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
