sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
