Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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