i just identified you from a description of your pipe
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
