I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
