I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Shame - the story of my life.
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