I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
