did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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