carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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