do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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