The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize