how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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