I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
