I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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