was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
